Welcome to Pentecostal News with Fred and Julie*. Our story today is an amazing tale of survival and Pentecostal triumph in the hostile jungles of Africa.
Fred: When Pentecostal missionary Daniel LaPlane first entered the tiny village of Omaka in southern Uganda, he was greeted with great hostility. The villagers seized him and dragged him before their village leaders. LaPlane feared for his life, and tried to beg for release, but his captors did not seem to understand. Fortunately, at that very moment, LaPlane remembered reading a story about another Pentecostal missionary was able to communicate with the natives by speaking in tongues. LaPlane began speaking in his heavenly language, and suddenly, the hostile natives grew quiet and docile. They even gathered around to listen to him as he preached to them for hours. At last, these bloodthirsty savages, softened by miraculously hearing the gospel in their native tongue, took him to the edge of the town and let him go. This is an incredible story, and our very own Julie McKinney is on location in Uganda to find out more. Julie?
Julie: Thank you, Fred. I am here today with David and Michael, two of the villagers who first saw LaPlane that fateful morning when he rode into town on a motorcycle.
Fred (from offscreen): Julie, hold on just a minute ... did you say their names are David and Michael?
Julie: Yes. Many people in Uganda have English names in addition to their African names.
David (helpfully): Our nation was once occupied by the British.
Fred (stunned): You speak English?
Michael: Yes, most of us speak English as a second language. It is taught in all of our schools.
Fred (even more stunned): You have schools?
Julie (sharply) Fred, please! (Turning to back to the two African men) Now tell me about the day that you saw Mr. LaPlane. Did seeing him make you angry?
Michael: Of course it did. He comes into our village driving his motorcycle too fast, plows right through my wife's sweet potato garden. He steps off his motorcycle and sits down on my fence and breaks it. He is a very fat man. Then he jumps up and starts shouting that we are all going to hell ... it was very rude. My friends see what happened and they say to me, "Michael, he should pay you for the damages. Your wife worked all year on that garden and now your children will go hungry because this rude fat man has ruined all your sweet potatoes." So we grab his arms and take him to the police station.
Fred: You have a police station?
Julie (turning back to the villagers): Please continue.
David: Then the fat man starts crying like a baby girl. He keeps saying, "Don't eat me, I don't taste good!"
Julie: Poor man. Didn't anyone explain to him that you just wanted him to pay for the sweet potatoes?
David: We are trying tell him, but we are laughing too hard. Then suddenly, he starts babbling like a crazy man.
Michael: He keeps saying, "Shandala shandala shandala!" We are surprised and we let go of him. We think, "We didn't know he was a crazy man! Maybe that's why he doesn't look where he is going on his motorbike!"
David: But he doesn't run away. He starts waving his arms and jumping up and down and shouting louder. He keeps babbling like a baby. People start to stare and gather around to watch him.
Michael: He is so fat that his body jiggles every time he jumps and so we all start to laugh and we like him. He is very funny.
Julie: And so you didn't take him to the police after all?
Michael: No, I send my son George to the village to sell tickets. George tells them, "Come and see the crazy fat man! He is so funny!" They come running. They love him. They listen for a long time, but then finally, they start to get bored, because it is all just the same. They say, "Michael, can he juggle? Can he do magic tricks?" but I don't think so, so I tell them the show is over.
Julie: And then you let him go.
Michael (waving dismissively): It was the Christian thing to do. Besides I had already made enough money on the tickets to buy my family food.
Julie: You are Christians?
Michael: Of course! See the little house over there with the cross on the door? First Baptist Church of Omaka. That's where I go. David is Catholic.
David: Yes, I go to St. Matthew Church over in Mbete. It is a long walk, but I like the priest there very much.
Michael: If you are still in our village tomorrow, you should come to our Wednesday service. My wife sings in the choir.
Julie: Thank you. Maybe I will. Well, that's all the time we have right now. Back to you, Fred.
Fred: Sorry. We thank all our viewers for joining us this evening. Have a good night.
*All names in this article are fictitious and for humor purposes only.
