Pentecostal song lyrics:

 

 

 

When I was in junior high and high school, I often tried to "witness" to my classmates.  I usually chose some poor unsuspecting soul as my project--the person  whom I really felt that God wanted to reach.  In retrospect, the funny thing was that I never felt that God wanted me to reach one of the poor downtrodden, lonely students.  No, "God" always set His sights on the most popular girl in school.

 

I would get this "leading from the Lord" in class one day while sitting in a desk across the room from the popular girl.  I would watch her chatting with her friends about her upcoming busy weekend playing volleyball and going to a dance with her boyfriend.  I'd look at her cute haircut, her flattering clothes, her polished nails, and her cheerful smile.  I'd look down at my own ragged hair and ill-fitting, outdated clothes and think about my upcoming weekend fasting, praying, and attending church services.  For a moment, I'd feel miserable beyond words . . . and suddenly I'd have a revelation:  that popular girl isn't really happy; she is dying inside of some terribly painful emptiness that only God could fill.  

 

No matter that I had no reason to believe that this was true . .  I thought I had my mission:  I was going to reach her for Christ.  I'd envision her at the altar begging God for forgiveness for all her many, many sins.  And, of course, I imagined myself generously putting my hand on her shoulder and praying her through . . . and she'd realize that really all along, I was the lucky one who had Jesus in my life and it was she who had been leading the lonely, empty, miserable life.

 

Of course, none of my witnessing projects ever ended like that.  Mostly, when I started sharing "the gospel", the girl would just stare at me rather confused and say, "Uh . . . thanks, I guess.  But . . . uh . . . I already go to church."  But I was not discouraged, and I'd keep after her--until another day when I was in class and had a revelation about somebody else.

 

It never occurred to me to wonder if any of these people were already Christians. In retrospect, I believe that many of them actually were.  But I firmly believed that I was the only REAL Christian in my entire high school.  In my superhero fantasy, the school was a sea of lost souls in the midst of which I was shining a bright light for Christ.  Someday, I believed, it would catch on, and my whole school would follow me over to the Pentecostal church and give their hearts to the Lord and receive the Holy Ghost, and what a great, triumphant day that would be.  Or, if that didn't happen, I would someday see them being dragged off to hell by demons and reaching out their hands toward me and saying, "We should have listened to you!"

 

Of course, in reality, my "revelations" and "witnessing" were nothing more than an elaborate sulk.  My fantasies were like those of a small child who, when sent to her room by her mother, lays on her bed and fantasizes about someday being a famous rock star and imagines that her mother will be dying of an incurable disease and will come to see her, weeping and begging for help paying for the surgery and asking forgiveness for sending her to her room so long ago.   Such sulky fantasies are common in the minds of small children, but they are also not far removed from the fantasies that most Pentecostals have. 

 

Pentecostals are rarely successful in their lives outside of church.  In fact, successful people rarely join Pentecostalism at all.  Most people who DO join Pentecostalism do so because of serious problems (financial, emotional, or physical) that they are hoping that God will fix for them.  But their lives usually fall into even more disarray after joining Pentecostalism.  The church begins to make more and more demands on their time and energy, until there is little left over to devote to solving their personal problems.  Pentecostals, relying on the church to fix their problems, fail to do much of anything to better their lives.  They usually do not attend college (or, if they do, they go to "Bible college", which has no real career applications for most people).  They often quit their jobs if the job interferes with church activities too much.  And they either marry very young or else put off getting married indefinitely and try to live a celibate life (neither option a good idea for most people).  And so, Pentecostalism is a nightmare of unemployment, wrecked careers, financial disasters, loneliness, bad marriages, and low self-esteem.

 

So the Pentecostals compensate with fantasies.  They go to church and tell each other, "We are mighty!  We are warriors!  We are taking the nation for Christ!  We are getting the victory!"  They sing "Victory in Jesus" and Jericho-march around the church believing that they are "breaking spiritual strongholds".  They roar out, "I command you Satan in the name of the Lord to pick up your weapons and flee . . . " and they stomp and wave their hands triumphantly.

 

For a few hours, they pretend that they are invincible.  They fantasize that their lives are wonderfully important and victorious.  They picture themselves chasing demons from the city and breaking spiritual bondage. 

 

And they believe that someday, the revival is coming.  And what will happen during a revival?  Why, everyone around them will realize that the Pentecostals were right all along, of course.  All those people who seem happy and fulfilled right now will suddenly "realize their need for Christ".  They see that woman at work who got the job promotion instead of them, that husband who left and moved in with someone else, that neighbor who makes snide comments about 'holy rollers' . . . all of them will be casting themselves at the altar, begging God and the Pentecostals for forgiveness. 

 

And, if that doesn't work, then there is always hell: someday, the Pentecostals will stand smugly by and watch as all those non-Pentecostals that they secretly envied in life are cast into the lake of fire, screaming and weeping that they should have listened to the Pentecostals. 

 

Pentecostal fantasies can be extremely addictive.  For people who are beset with problems and feel embarrassed about their clothes, their wild church services, their lack of education, and their lives in general--it is a wonderful feeling to suddenly imagine oneself to be a superhero, larger than life, battling demons and saving the world.  But it is only a sulky fantasy, a childish dream of striking back and "showing them".

 

They may spiritualize it.  They may pretend that their only concern really is the lost souls of the unsaved.  They may hide the true meaning behind "prophecies" of upcoming revivals and great outpourings of the Holy Spirit that turn their city to Christ.  But, behind all the spiritual talk, there is a childish sulk: 

 

We'll show them!  Someday, they'll be begging us to help them!  Someday, when the miracles come . . . when the windows of heaven finally open and we get the blessings we've been waiting for . . . When the last judgment is finally here . . . Someday, they'll all see!"